


stuck in second gear

by lafbaeyette



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aquariums, Deaf Character, Gen, Pansexual Eliza, Sign Language, deaf hamilton, everyone else is some type of gay, suspension of disbelief re: law school pls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-09-16 15:43:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9278450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafbaeyette/pseuds/lafbaeyette
Summary: At 26, John thought he was independent enough to finally tell his father the truth. To let his father in on the secret that was his relationship with Francis Kinloch, but just as quickly as he could get the words out, everything around him fell apart. Henry threw a fit, threw him out of the house and out of the family, with many harsh words.All on Christmas Eve.As if that wasn’t bad enough, the day after Christmas John returned home to find all of Francis’ things gone and a post-it left on the fridge.--Upon losing his family, his job, and his boyfriend all in the span of a couple weeks, John moves in with his friend Hercules - and Hercules' roommate, Alexander Hamilton. It's time he got himself back on track, but he finds that to be harder than he initially thought after spending his life just doing things to please his father.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to what I hope is another fic you're gonna love! It's been a bit since I've posted any chaptered fic, but here we are and I hope you enjoy it. I have quite a few nice plans for this if you'll join me for this adventure. 
> 
> Just a preface, I am an undergrad in history and writing, I don't know shit about law school so please suspend your disbelief rather than calling me out. This is fic after all. 
> 
> Also, Alex is Deaf, DO call me out if I do something wrong there - That is a character and trait I wanna write with the utmost respect to Deaf people and Deaf culture. 
> 
> Let's go!

Old rock music crackled through the speakers and the vents hummed as John drove down unfamiliar streets, trying to follow the directions that had been quickly scratched down onto the back of a Popeye’s napkin several hours earlier. He’d been here once, a year ago when Hercules first moved in and John had promised to help him. Now Hercules was returning the favor, in a way, and allowing John to move in while he tried to get himself back on his feet. 

At 26, John thought he was independent enough to finally tell his father the truth. To let his father in on the secret that was his relationship with Francis Kinloch, but just as quickly as he could get the words out, everything around him fell apart. Henry threw a fit, threw him out of the house and out of the family, with many harsh words.

All on Christmas Eve.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the day after Christmas John returned home to find all of Francis’ things gone and a post-it left on the fridge.

_Sorry J._

_-F_

He spent that New Year’s Eve on the floor of his apartment, alone save for a quickly drained bottle of whiskey to keep him company. A week later, he realized that he lost his position working under his father at his law firm, and without Francis, his father, or a job, he could no longer afford… well, anything. A few phone calls, a few breakdowns, and in just three days he had packed everything into his car and made his way out of the city.

New year, new home. Hopefully, new John?  

Hercules lived just outside of Washington, DC, where John had spent a majority of his life. His family moved from South Carolina to DC not long after the death of his mother, when he was ten. His father became a partner with a big law firm, and in just a few years managed to open his own. John got his law degree at Georgetown, trying to follow in his father’s footsteps, and even started working with him after he graduated.

The real kicker?

He hated it. John hated the firm, hated what they stood for, hated working in law. He was good at it, that there was no doubt about, but he despised it. He was almost glad that he never had to go back. His gratefulness faded a bit, though, as he pulled up to the two story house, much smaller than he had remembered it.

John shut his car off, noting that Hercules’ car wasn’t around and mentally thanking the other man for telling him where to find the spare key. He pulled two duffle bags from the trunk, deciding the leave the rest until Herc got home, locked his car, and made his way up the rickety steps to his new front door.

He managed to find the key after minimal searching and let himself in, taking in the place as he slowly made his way through. The kitchen wasn’t too small, he could make do, and it led directly into the living room, where he dumped his bags for the time being. He ventured further, stepping into a short hallway with three doors. One was wide open, revealing a rather clean room with a few pictures hanging along the walls, and a sewing machine in the corner that immediately told him it was Hercules’ room. One of the other doors was slightly ajar. He stepped forward, pushing it open.

Another man, slightly shorter than him, with black hair to his shoulders, both of which were bare—along with the majority of his body—stood in the middle of the room. A basket of laundry sitting on his bed was the only thing concealing his dignity. Both men yelled, John grabbing the handle of the door and slamming it shut as he fell back into the hallway, apologies tripping over his lips. After a few long, embarrassing moments, the door creaked open again, this time revealing the flushed man with a pair of shorts and a tank top on.

“Oh my god, I’m so, so sorry.” John immediately started apologizing again, his face and neck burning. “Hercules didn’t tell me he already had a roommate—I’m John, I don’t know if he told you, but I’m moving in? This is a terrible first impression, I’m sorry—”

The man held a hand up, his brows furrowed, and John finally stopped. Rather than replying, he pointed to himself and made a gesture at the side of his head. John frowned, unsure what this was supposed to mean, and the man repeated the gesture again before letting out a quiet sigh and disappearing back into the room. A second later he re-appeared with a slip of paper, holding it out to John.

_I’m Deaf. Who are you?_

“You’re—oh!” John clapped a hand over his mouth, looking at the other with wide eyes. He must have been signing, that would explain the hand gestures, and John’s face and neck were on fire from his embarrassment. John, in a moment of mild panic, looked around as if he’d find a pen in thin air, until the other man held his out. John took it with a smile, holding the sheet of paper up to the wall as he wrote.

_John Laurens Herc’s friend – I’m sorry he didn’t tell me he already had a roommate._

The man took the paper from him, reading over it quickly, his other hand moving very slightly at his side. He held his hand out and it took John a moment too long to realize he was asking for the pen back, which he returned with only half a fumble.

_I’m Alex. Your room is the next door_.

 John looked back up after reading it and Alex gestured to the closed door to his left. John nodded, giving him a small smile and a half wave before entering the right room. It was on the smaller side, but the bed under the window was already made up, the closet full of empty hangers for him, and a dresser stood next to his door. Before he could collapse on the bed and wallow in his own humiliation over the past ten minutes, John heard a booming voice fill the apartment and a pounding on one of the walls.

“Yo, John! I’m home, man, I saw your car parked out front!” Hercules’ voice grew even louder, following his heavy footsteps through the hall. John heard him laugh just outside the door before he opened it, catching the last bit of Alex signing something and Herc throwing his hands up before responding. “Oh my god, today was _insane_ , man. This mom came in, asking for a dress for her daughter’s formal—the daughter could not have given less of a shit, but the mom had all of these demands, on length and color and neckline— _none_ of which were going to look good, especially not all together.”

John watched Hercules’ hands move through the air as he spoke, Alex also watching with a grin on his face and taking everything in. He shook his head and rolled his eyes as expected, and John was amazed at watching Hercules convey his story in two different languages. The signing made no sense to him, although some of the gestures were telling, especially when combined with the story, but it was interesting to watch. Hercules finally finished his story and noticed him, reaching out and pulling him into a bear hug.

“John!” He ruffled John’s hair and turned to Alex, signing once again as he spoke. “Alex, this is my friend John I was tellin’ you about. He’s going to stay with us a while.” Alex nodded, laughing silently as he signed something in response. John had no idea what he was saying, but he glanced at John with a little smirk at the end and it made John’s stomach churn—whether it was a good or a bad churn, he couldn’t quite figure out. “Oh, great! And John, this is my roommate Alexander Hamilton.”

John nodded, unable to look back at Alex. “So I’ve been told, you didn’t mention a roommate.”

“Oh, I didn’t?” Hercules laughed. “Sorry, man, must’ve slipped my mind. I see you found your room, need help bringing anything in?”

John shook his head. “Nah. Might take me a couple of trips, but I can get it all.”

“Nonsense, we can help you.” Hercules turned back to Alex, signing something to which Alex nodded, and Hercules grabbed John’s arm. “Come on, let’s get your shit in before it starts sleeting again.”

John was right, it would have taken him a few trips to get everything by himself. But with three people, they managed to get everything fairly quickly, and after dragging everything into the house the other two left him to unpack his things. He could still hear them in the living room, mostly Hercules laughing every so often, and after a few minutes a high melody John recognized as a gaming console being turned on.  

He hated unpacking, so he tried to do it as quickly as possible. Books were left in a pile on the dresser to be placed elsewhere later, maybe he’d invest in a bookshelf, he made a note to ask Herc if he knew where he could find one. His clothes were folded in separate piles over his bed, suitcase tucked underneath, and he started organizing his closet and dresser as much as he could. If nothing else, it was at least a fairly mindless activity. He didn’t have to put much thought into anything, and he appreciated the mental break. It was something he hadn’t gotten since before Christmas, constantly worrying about what he was going to do, where he was going to live, what was going to happen, and how he was going to move on now that his life had done a complete 180-degree turn.

Even worse moments were spent thinking about Francis, about how quickly he had just up and left, with nothing more than a ‘Sorry J’, not even an explanation. Wasn’t John worth at least an explanation? A ‘things got too hard’, or even just a ‘I don’t love you anymore’? Apparently not, and he couldn’t even _guess_ what could have been the breaking point. Everything seemed to be going so well, they were living together, and for a brief moment John even thought maybe Francis was The One. You know, The Big One, the one you marry and introduce to your parents and start a family with. John wasn’t sure if he wanted any of that, but he thought that if he did, he’d want it with Francis.

“So much for that,” John snorted, shaking his head at himself. He tossed a handful of socks into a drawer, closing it a little harder than necessary and trying to clear his mind. He didn’t want to be thinking about any of this right now. Thankfully, a distraction found him in the form of a knock on his door.

“Hey, John, dinner’s ready if you’re hungry,” Hercules informed him.

“Thanks, be out in a minute.”

John put the rest of his clothes away before joining Hercules in the kitchen. Hercules was sitting at a small table, definitely just meant for two people, a plate of fries and half a burger sitting in front of him. He gestured to the stove, where fries, patties, buns, and fixings sat waiting, and John grabbed a plate.

“So, how’re you liking the place?” Hercules asked, taking another bite of his burger. John glanced at him over his shoulder as he pulled things onto his plate, shrugging.

“It’s new, nice. Thanks for letting me stay here.” He turned his focus to forming perfect spirals of sauces onto his bun.

“Of course, man. Anytime.”

It wasn’t until he finally sat down across from Hercules that he noticed a body missing. “Where’s Alex?”

“He went out.” Hercules reached across the table to dip a fry in John’s ketchup. “Sorry again about forgetting to tell you about him, I honestly thought I had.” He popped the fry into his mouth.

“It’s alright, just took me by surprise.” John picked at his burger bun, taking small bites out of it. “I didn’t know you knew sign language, either.”

“Yeah, I took it for my foreign language credit in undergrad, turned out to be pretty useful.” Hercules laughed. “I met Alex a couple years ago through some mutual friends, he had just moved out here and was looking for a place to stay, I had two extra rooms—the rest is history.”

“That’s cool.” John started picking apart a fry. “What does he do?”

“He’s about to finish his law degree, I think.”

“Law degree?” That caught John by surprise, for whatever reason. He hadn’t really known what he expected the answer to be, but it wasn’t that.

“Yeah, just like you.” Hercules chuckled at the look of surprise on John’s face. “The kid’s Deaf, not dumb.” John’s face flushed at that, and he tried to open his mouth to argue, ‘I didn’t think that’, but Hercules kept going. “He’s actually pretty bright, I think you’re gonna like him.” He stood up, dumping the scraps from his plate and adding it to a growing pile in the sink. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to retire to my room. Let me know if you need anything, alright, Laurens?”

John nodded again as Hercules left the room, leaving him alone to his food, and his thoughts. He really only took one bite out of the burger, which was good, but he hadn’t felt like eating much recently. Maybe it had to do with the stress of the move, or maybe it had to do with the ever-growing depression he felt every time he returned to the realization that from this point on his life was never going to be the same—really, there was a 50/50 chance. It was probably both.

Before he had gotten through much of his meal, Alex returned. He gave a short wave and smile as he passed through the room, which John returned, and a few minutes later he came back and took the seat across from John. John, suddenly unsure what to do, settled for staring at him. Wide eyed and terrified. It made Alex snort as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, pressing something on the screen before handing it to John, who took it nervously. The ‘Add New Contact’ page was open, John realized, and put his information in before passing the phone back. A second later his phone went off in his pocket.

 

_From: Unknown_

_> This is a quicker and easier way to talk. Plus always important to have contact info for roomies. _

_> Welcome btw_

 

John glanced up. Alex was watching him with a cordial smile. John saved Alex’s number. 

 

_From: John_

_> Thanks. And sorry again for earlier. _

 

_From: Alex_

_> It’s alright just don’t go telling the whole town I do my laundry naked and we’re cool_

 

_From: John_

_> Your secret’s safe with me._

 

They both shared a look as they laughed.

 

_From: Alex_

_> What do you do? Herc hasn’t told me much about you._

_From: John_

_> Right now I’m not doing much. I just got laid off from a law firm in DC. _

_From: Alex_

_> I studied law in DC. That’s cool. _

_> Sorry you got laid off tho _

_From: John_

_> It’s cool. Herc said you were finishing your degree? _

_From: Alex_

_> Slowly. Doing the last part online, it’s annoying, but it’s also a majority internship credit now so I’ve got an internship around here. _

_From: John_

_> That’s neat. _

_> Is it rude if I ask how long you’ve been deaf? _

_From: Alex_

_> Probably_

_> Since I was 10 – got sick, lost my hearing, never found it. _

John barked out a laugh at that, quickly covering his mouth and flushing. Alex grinned.

 

_From: Alex_

_> I could talk if I felt like it. _ _  
>I don’t. _

_> I can read lips fairly well if I concentrate too, but that’s exhausting and I usually don’t care enough about what someone’s saying to bother. _

_> But now you owe me one (1) rude question in return _

John looked up at Alex, nodding, it was only fair. He watched his own screen, anxious, as Alex typed.

 

_From: Alex_

_> Why are you here? What happened?_

 

John frowned, biting the corner of his lip.

 

_From: John_

_> I told you I got laid off. _

_From: Alex_

_> Sure but why_

John let out a heavy sigh, this wasn’t going to be let go anytime soon.

 

_From: John_

_> I worked for my dad. Told him I’m gay. He disowned and fired me. My boyfriend left me. And here we are. _

_> That the sob story you were looking for? _

_From: Alex_

_> Yes_

John rolled his eyes, dropping his phone onto the table top and refusing to look up at Alex. It vibrated again, the message showing up in the lock screen.

 

_From: Alex_

_> I’m sorry _

 

Alex put his phone down, too, reaching out and placing a hand on John’s arm. Consoling. John finally lifted his head and met his eyes, he seemed to be truly sympathetic, but John wasn’t looking for pity. He pulled his arm away, ignoring the dejected look on Alex’s face as he grabbed his plate and put it away. He sent a final message before shoving his phone in his pocket and retreating to his own room, refusing to look back at Alex the entire time.

 

_From: John_

_> Goodnight _

 

Alex sighed, shaking his head and cursing under his breath. Upsetting John had not been his intention, though that always seemed to be how things went. Usually he wouldn’t care, but he wanted to make at least a semi-good impression on his new roommate. Pushy questions and accidental subjection to a less-than-stellar winter bod were not the way he’d meant to go.

* * *

 

Alex was drifting somewhere between sleep and the world of _Friends_ , hugging a pillow to his chest with his legs perched on the coffee table in front of him. He could barely keep up with the captions and the action on screen, but he had already seen the show so many times he knew exactly what was going on. It paused suddenly, and it took Alex a few minutes to realize why, a new weight on the couch next to him. He turned to find Hercules, concern etched on his face, and sat up. 

‘ _What are you doing up?_ ’ Hercules signed. Alex shifted, sitting the pillow down next to him and turning to face Hercules so he could actually see him, the paused television the only light in the room.

‘ _Can’t sleep_.’ Hercules nodded, still frowning, and Alex continued. ‘ _I think I pissed John off. Got too nosy._ ’

Hercules laughed. ‘ _It’s not hard to piss John off. He’s going through some shit right now, it’ll be fine._ ’

Alex pursed his lips, chewing on the inside of his cheek. ‘ _You think?_ ’

‘ _I know_.’ Hercules nudged Alex’s shoulder. ‘ _Stop worrying so much, get some sleep._ ’ He glanced at the TV and added, ‘ _And find a new show._ ’

Alex laughed, sticking his tongue out. Hercules always teased him about watching the same show repeatedly, and Alex continued to watch the same three shows from beginning to end. Hercules ruffled his hair as he stood up, signing a good night, and went back to his room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John meets 2/3 of the Schuylers and picks up a new skill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome back to Stuck in Second Gear. My name is Pip and I will be your host tonight, presenting you with a fresh new chapter. 
> 
> Please bare with me as I try to figure out what I like best re: formatting of texts (or if you have an opinion on the formatting between last chapter and this chapter, feel free to lemme know)
> 
> Thank you all so much for the supportive comments so far! I'm really glad you're all enjoying reading this, because I am really enjoying writing this. You're all lovely and beautiful, enjoy this next chapter. On the house. ;)

The next morning John woke up to the blinding sun in his eyes and a deafening squeal from the living room. The squeal dissolved into laughter, and as he regained his bearings in the waking world, John could make out four distinct laughs, one of which he knew was Hercules, the other three completely foreign. He pulled himself out of bed, finding a pair of sweatpants and a shirt so he could investigate whatever was happening in his apartment at eight in the morning. He wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to, but the grumbling in his gut informed him that no matter what he needed to venture out for sustenance soon.

“Good morning, John!” Hercules chirped as soon as he got to the entryway of the living room. John tipped his head, still not awake enough to form a coherent sentence, and then repeated the gesture to the other three people in the room. Alex was sitting on the couch between two women, one that sat close, knees angled toward him with a hand resting on his thigh, her dark hair pulled into a neat bun and her smile warm. The other sat a few inches from Alex, though she still leaned against his side when she laughed, her eyes bright and nose crinkling from her mirth. “John, these are the Schuylers, Eliza”—he gestured to the one touching Alex, then to the other who straightened at the sound of her name and brushed her curly hair back from her face— “and Peggy.”

“Morning, nice to meet you.” John gave them a half smile.

Peggy giggled again, turning her head away from John but not lowering her voice enough as she whispered to Alex and Eliza, “He’s cute.” Alex rolled his eyes fondly and Eliza shoved at Peggy’s shoulder with a teasing smile. Alex gave her a pointed look as he pressed two fingers against his chin and she deflated.

“Wait, what does that mean? What did he say?” John furrowed his brows, and Peggy turned her head with a wistful sigh.

“He told me you’re gay.” She nudged Alex’s side with a smirk. “Which doesn’t take all of us out of the running.” John felt his cheeks heat up, but chose to ignore what that comment could have meant.

“I, uh,” he cleared his throat. “I’m going to get some breakfast.”

“There’s coffee, bagels, and munchkins on the counter,” Eliza offered, beaming. “Courtesy of our third sister, Angelica, who I’m sure you’ll meet soon enough. She’s a gem.”

“That’s one way of looking at her,” Peggy muttered under her breath, earning another shove from Eliza. John simply nodded, escaping to the kitchen where a paper bag and container of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee sat waiting.

He decided to enjoy his breakfast in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sipping at it as he picked at a couple of the donut holes he pulled out of the bag. He could hear the others return to whatever they had been talking about before he got up, Eliza seemed to be telling a story that was interrupted every so often with laughter. Instead of eavesdropping, he decided to create a mental list of everything he needed to do today.

_Unpack. Pick up some things from the store, maybe look into a bookshelf—_

“You don’t have to hide out in your own kitchen.”

John nearly spilled coffee on himself when he jumped, not hearing Peggy come in. She tried to hide her laugh and apologized, moving to the counter to refill her mug. “Sorry if we woke you up, but you’re more than welcome to come in here with us.”

“I’m alright, thanks.” John murmured, taking a sip of his coffee.

Peggy leaned against the counter, crossing her arms and pouting. “That’s no way to treat your guests.”

“Technically, you’re Herc and Alex’s guests,” John informed his coffee cup.

“Nonsense, we could be your guests, too.” She picked up her mug. “I know pretty girls can be intimidating, John, but I promise we won’t bite. Unless you ask.” She winked at him over her mug as she took a drink and John laughed in spite of himself. She grinned.

“Y’all are having a good time out there, I’d hate to bring the mood down.” He continued digging for excuses, but Peggy wasn’t letting it happen.

“What makes you think you’d bring the mood down?” She questioned. John stared into his coffee, unsure how to answer, and Peggy continued. “Is it your Tragic Backstory? You’re not the only one that’s gone one, pal, and if we’re all surviving with ours, we can survive throwing yours into the mix. That’s what friendship is.”

“But we’re not friends.”

Peggy rolled her eyes. “Well, no, not yet. Because you’re hiding out in the kitchen.” She grabbed his hand. “Now, come on, Liza and I need to pry into your life so we can bond and become besties by sundown.”

John tried to argue, but Peggy tugged at his wrist until he followed her back into the living room. She pushed him onto the couch where she had previously been sitting before plopping herself down on the floor, crossing her legs. “Alright, John, give us a tour of your psyche.”

All eyes were suddenly on him and John fumbled for something to say. Alex snickered at his side. He shot the man a glare, and Alex rubbed a hand over his chest, which Hercules quickly informed him meant ‘Sorry’, and gestured for him to continue.

“What do you want to know?” He finally asked, looking between the two girls.

“Relationship status,” Peggy shouted out immediately, and John winced. Alex made a gesture at his side and Peggy frowned.

“Newly single,” John answered. “Next.”

Alex tapped his shoulder, clapping the heels of his hands together and glancing back at Eliza, who quickly translated, “School?”

“Uh, I got my law degree at Georgetown, both undergrad and grad.”

Peggy nodded. “Fancy. So, you’re a lawyer?”

“I used to work for one.” John bit the corner of his lip. “Now seeking employment.”

Peggy hummed, leaning back on her hands and eyeing him. “Shouldn’t be hard, we are just outside of DC. Our sister Angie works over at Boring, Boring, and Snoozefest—” John heard Alex scoff at his side, turning—and for the first time noticing that Hercules had been interpreting the conversation—to see Alex gaping at Peggy, who quickly added, “Oh, yes, and Alexander interns there as well. Maybe they could help you out.”

John chuckled, looking back at Peggy. “Tempting as that is, I’m not really sure if I want to stick with law.”

“What would you rather do?” Eliza questioned, leaning closer to John, and almost entirely over Alex. John tried to ignore that, instead shrugging half-heartedly at the question.

“I don’t know, I, uh,” John frowned. “I used to want to study medicine, or biology, or something… I’ll figure something out.”

“Ooh, and our Eliza is a nurse.” John looked at Eliza, who bashfully pulled back to her side of the couch.

“Really?” John asked. “Where do you work?”

“Uh, just this little pediatric clinic in town.”

“But she’s got big dreams of opening her own clinic someday, right, Liza?” Peggy grinned at her sister, who rolled her eyes but held a fond smile.

“One day. But right now I’m happy with where I work.”

“That just leaves you, Peggy,” John looked back at the younger woman. “What do you do?”

“I work at an aquarium,” Peggy beamed, proud of her job. “An aquarist, which sounds fake but it’s real and I get to play with the rays and turtles all day. They’re my babies, and speaking of work, Eliza’s mad gesturing tells me that it’s about time for us to leave for said jobs.” Eliza stuck her tongue out at her sister and stood up, crossing the room to help her sister to her feet as well before they both turned back to the boys.

 “It was great to meet you John, Herc you should totally give him my number, and Alex, try not to be a dick.” They both went through and hugged each of the men before leaving, Peggy informing them that she was stealing the last of the munchkins as they left.

“They’re interesting,” John said after the front door closed and it was just him, Hercules, and Alex again.

Alex snorted, signing something that Hercules was quick to interpret. “You should see all three Schuylers together, interesting doesn’t begin to describe it.” Hercules laughed and stood up as well, walking out of the room and calling over his shoulder, “You’re on your own. I’ve got to get dressed, I need to drop Alex off and get to work soon.”

John turned back to Alex, who had already pulled his phone back out.

 

_From: Alex_

**_> if I got too nosy last night I’m sorry_ **

_From: John_

**_> its fine. _ **

**_> so does herc always interpret for you? _ **

_From: Alex_

**_> when people are over that don’t sign. he doesn’t need to, its nice that he does though._ **

_From: John_

**_> Peggy and Eliza don’t? _ **

_From: Alex_

**_> Eliza does. She picked it up a few years ago, but peggy only knows a bit._ **

_From: John_

**_> years? so you two have a history? _ **

John didn’t miss the way Alex shifted next to him, or the way he took a slow breath before he replied.

 

_From: Alex_

_**> We do. We’ve been friends for a very long time, dated for a short while, but it never worked out.** _

**_> Not that its any of your business_ **

John blushed.

 

_From: John_

**_> you got to be nosy last night_ **

_From: Alex_

**_> you have a point_ **

**_> I should get ready for work_ **

Alex stood up abruptly and John felt a twinge of guilt until the other man tipped his head and smiled at him before heading back to his room. That explained the obvious comfort between him and Eliza, at least, and he tried to ignore the relieved feeling in his chest that came in with the knowledge that they were not currently together.

Hercules and Alex left within the half hour, leaving John alone just barely after ten in the morning. He spent the majority of that day on the couch, still sitting there staring at the black television screen when Hercules returned home. He thought he had bypassed the depression phase of his break up, with both his boyfriend _and_ his father, but as everything around him began to settle and he no longer had anything to worry about in terms of simply living, he felt himself sinking.

Hercules let it go on for the next week and a half. Of course John needed to feel his feelings, go through the motions of mourning, from what he understood John and Francis had been together for a while—but he finally felt like he needed to step in. Maybe not bring it to an end, but at least encourage him to start moving forward again.

“Mornin’, John,” Hercules knocked but didn’t bother to wait for a response, pushing the bedroom door open with his hip and moving toward the sad lump under the duvet. John didn’t respond, didn’t even bother turning over, facing the window, where the blinds were shut save for a tiny slit at the bottom.

“Alexander made pancakes,” Hercules sang, nudging his shoulder. No response. “Come on, I know you like pancakes.”

“Francis used to make pancakes,” John murmured. Hercules sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Alright, look. Be upset, be sad, have emotions, but at least get your ass out of bed.” Hercules smacked his hip and John let out a cry of protest. “Come _on_ , John. I haven’t seen you leave this room in a week. Have you even showered?”

“What’s the point, Herc?” John mumbled, burying his face further into his pillow and pulling the blanket over his head.

“John, sit up.” Hercules pinched his side until John twisted around, glaring at him beneath a mess of curls, dark bags settled heavily beneath his eyes. “Talk to me, man. What’s going on?”

“You know what’s going on,” John groaned. “Do we have to rehash it?”

“Yeah, I know what’s going on in your life in general, but what’s going on up here?” Hercules tapped John’s forehead and John swatted his hand away, huffing and not saying anything for a very long time. Hercules sat there, watching him, waiting, until John finally cracked.

“It’s just a lot of shit.” He whispered. “A lot of bullshit, to think I could spend twenty-six years doing everything he wanted me to do—then I go off, do _one_ thing for myself, have _one_ relationship that makes me happy, and then it all blows up. I don’t—” John cut himself off, turning onto his side again, this time facing Hercules at least. “What am I supposed to do now? All those years… I don’t even know what _I_ want, only what he wanted.”

“You can do anything,” Hercules told him. “The world is your oyster—”

“The world was my oyster when I was young and stupid and deciding to go to law school,” John rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Now I’m twenty-six, I’m supposed to know what the fuck I’m doing with myself. My oyster is closing, and I’m never gonna be a pearl, or whatever.”

“That was some poetic nonsense, I gotta say.” Hercules put a hand on John’s shoulder. “But it’s still nonsense. I’m older than you and I’m still not sure what the fuck I’m doing, so cut that shit out.”

“What do you mean? You’re a tailor, that’s what you like to do.”

“You think I want to work for Patricia Green for the rest of my life?” Hercules snorted. “Sure, I have a job and I don’t hate it, but it’s still not exactly what I want to be doing. And you aren’t going to get any closer to what you want to be doing until you learn that when life knocks you down, you’ve got to get the fuck back up again.”

John groaned, pulling the blanket over his face.

Hercules chuckled and pulled it out of his hands. “Come on, I’m not asking you to get your life lined out right now. I’m just asking you to get up and come have some breakfast, which Alexander so lovingly made.”

The men shared a long look, Hercules quirking a brow as John squinted his eyes, before the latter finally relented with a heavy sigh. He pushed the blankets away, pulling himself up and tying his hair back rather than doing anything with the intense bedhead he’d given himself.

“He better make some damn good pancakes,” John muttered as he got out of bed and followed Hercules back out to the kitchen.

Alex was in fact standing at the stove, expertly flipping a pancake as they walked in. Hercules stepped up and tapped him on the shoulder, signing to him while John ignored the interaction in favor of slumping into a seat and crossing his arms over the table as he waited.

“They’re almost done,” Hercules informed him. “I’m gonna grab another chair.”

Hercules disappeared from the room and John turned his head to look at Alex, focused on the batter he was pouring into the pan. There was already a hefty stack of pancakes sitting on the stove, but Alex didn’t seem to be slowing down his cooking. He swayed his hips a little as he waited for the batter to cook. His pajama pants, blue and dark grey plaid, were rolled up at the waist and still nearly covered his feet. John wondered absently if Alex had accidentally gotten Hercules’ laundry. Alex flipped the pancake with one swift flick of his wrist and John watched in amazement, drawing his eyes away once Hercules had returned with a third chair, which he placed between the original two and sat down in.

Alex added three more pancakes to the stack before finally bringing it to the table, along with a large glass bottle of maple syrup and small container of butter. He sat the food down, a huge grin on his face as he kissed the tips of his fingers and presented the meal. Hercules laughed at the dramatics, pulling several pancakes onto his plate and digging in with ardor. John had a bit less enthusiasm, though he had to admit the pancakes were delicious, and the maple bacon syrup was at just the right consistency and sweetness level. If he had the power within him to feel joy, this breakfast would probably provide that.

Alex tapped on Hercules wrist, signing with one hand as the other shoveled a huge bite into his mouth.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full,” Hercules chided, though his tone was playful and Alex rolled his eyes, repeating the gesture once he had swallowed. Hercules turned to John, “Alex is wondering how you’re feeling.”

“How do you say vacant and underwhelmed by life?” John shoved a too-large bite of pancake into his mouth. Hercules turned back to Alex, signing and mouthing ‘ _Fine_ ’, which Alex didn’t quite buy as he watched John aggressively stab at his breakfast.

That morning was rough, but Hercules had at least pushed him to that first step. He was out of bed, together Alex and Hercules made sure he had at least two meals a day, and John used the rest of his time working his way through Hercules’ Netflix account. It was another week before John stumbled across his next idea.

Officially out of things to watch, at least things that had immediately grabbed his interest enough to sit through, John flicked through Hercules’ Netflix list again. A new title had been added, it appeared, because John had nearly memorized this list. Simply out of the need for a distraction, he decided to press play, and spent the next hour and a half watching a documentary on ASL and some basic Deaf history. Halfway through, John realized a much better use of his time.

And that is how John finally found himself out of the house, trying to familiarize himself with the town, and especially the bookstore that Hercules had raved about a few times over the past month. It was small, but the shelves were overflowing, rows of books stacked on top of the columns, some laying out on tables, and far more shelves than he believed should have actually been shoved into the building. The best part? There was no perky employee greeting him or attempting to help him, which he especially appreciated today. He may have found the will to throw on some clothes and leave the house, but he was not feeling forced conversation.

John slowly browsed through the selections, picking up interesting titles and flipping through the first few pages of several books. From historical fiction to fantasy to biographies, he found himself captivated by several stories, even deciding that a couple were too good to just put back on the shelf. He had almost forgotten his initial reason for the visit, until he stumbled upon a foreign language section. He wasn’t entirely sure if that’s where he would find what he was looking for, but sure enough, he found a thick book entitled _A Beginner’s Guide to American Sign Language_. He took a handful of books to the register, pleased to find that the cashier wasn’t too chatty and simply wished him a good weekend— was it the weekend already? —as he left.  

If John was going to live here, the least he could do was learn how to communicate with his roommate. He had picked up French fairly easily, though he was younger than, he didn’t imagine sign language would be _that_ difficult. He even managed to find some lessons on YouTube. At the very least, it gave him something to focus on, and a goal to reach.

“Honey, I’m home!” Hercules called as soon as he came through the door early one Tuesday evening, following it up by banging his fist on the wall a couple of times. He tossed his coat onto a chair as he stepped into the living room, shooting John a grin. “Hey, John.”

“Why do you do that?” John asked, looking up from his book and dropping his hands into his lap. He had spent that day practicing the alphabet and finger-spelling.

“What?” Hercules carefully unwound the scarf from his neck, tucking it into his jacket and hanging it up.

“Hit the wall when you come home.” John mimicked the motion against the back of the couch.

“Oh, so Alex knows when I get home.” Hercules dropped down onto the couch next to John. “I know he’s probably not home yet, I got off early, but it’s just habit now. He can’t hear the door open or close, but the other side of that wall is his room and he can, like, feel the vibrations.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Or, see it, pretty sure he’s got something against that wall that he can see move or something. Same thing when I come into a room, though, say, the kitchen, and he’s got his back to me.” Hercules stomped his foot on the floor, making some cups on the table in front of them clang. “One stomp vibrates the floor, let’s him know I’m there so I don’t scare the shit outta him on accident, which has happened. Poor kid’s pretty jumpy.”

“Good to know.” John nodded, tucking that information away for later use. Hercules leaned into his shoulder, looking down at the book in his lap.

“What’cha got there?” Of course, it was obvious what he had there. John shrugged.

“I went out to that book store you told me about and saw this.” Not technically a lie. John flipped it shut to show Hercules the cover, in case the pictures of hands on the pages weren’t obvious enough. “Thought it’d be good to learn a little bit, y’know, make life a little easier for all involved.”

Hercules leaned back, raising his eyebrows as he looked at John. “You like him, don’t you?”

“What?” John barked out a laugh. “Sure, he’s cool?”

“No, no, you know what I mean.” Hercules nudged his shoulder. “You _like_ him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Why would it be ridiculous?”

John sighed, sitting the book down next to him and crossing his arms. “I just got out of a long relationship, Herc—”

“You’re learning sign language for him—”

“I’m learning sign language because I live here now, and it’s giving me something to do, and—”

“And you _like_ him.” Hercules waggled his brows, repeatedly nudging John’s arm until the other man laughed and shoved him away.

“Have you learned ‘cute’ yet?” Hercules lifted his hand to show John the sign, which John repeated without thinking. “Boyfriend?” John didn’t repeat that sign, narrowing his eyes at Hercules. “ _Sex_?”

“Oh my _god_.” John smacked Hercules’ hand before he could show him that one and shook his head. “Herc, please. I’m just trying to be a decent roommate, the least I can do is be able to _communicate_ with the guy. That’s all. There are no feelings, I am currently devoid of feeling, Francis ripped out any potential feelings I had when he left and now I’m just an empty shell of a human, okay?”

Hercules’ face fell, a deep frown taking the place of the grin that had been there mere seconds before, and John felt a little guilty. “I’m sorry, man.”

“It’s alright,” John promised. He grabbed the book, flipping through until he found his page again. “Um, sorry for… snapping like that.”

“You had every right to.” Hercules rubbed his shoulder before pushing himself up. “I’m going to get started on dinner, buffalo chicken lasagna sound alright?”

“Sounds great.” John forced himself to smile up at Herc as he moved around the couch and back to the kitchen, and it fell as soon as he was out of the room. He shut his eyes, taking a slow breath and trying to pull his focus back to ASL, not Francis, and continued to practice until Alex returned home and Hercules called him into the kitchen for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated, and remember to tip your waitress! 
> 
> Come talk at me on Tumblr: @hypeulesnochilligan
> 
> Next week we'll have a bit more Peggy and some time at the aquarium!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes to the aquarium and bonds with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to do this thing where I update this once a week, but school is starting back up so I'm not sure how well I'll do with that. So far, so good at least. 
> 
> I hope you all are still enjoying this! Thank you so much for all of the support and comments so far, it makes me very happy and appreciative and Blessed. 
> 
> A note; just like with the lawyer stuff, I know nada about being an aquarist or working in an aquarium, so suspension of disbelief? thank you. 
> 
> without further ado, let's go.

“So, Turtle Boy, would you like dessert?” Peggy slid a small dessert menu across the table as John pushed his plate to the side, snatching a couple of his abandoned fries as he glanced over it. She had gotten his number from Hercules, finally, and invited him out to lunch on one of her late days. She didn’t need to be into work until the early afternoon, which meant she had plenty of time to bond with a new friend.

“No, thank you.” John had agreed simply because Hercules stole his phone and said yes before he had the chance to say no. He wasn’t upset over it, it was actually nice that Peggy wanted to spend time with him, and he was pleasantly surprised to find that he didn’t absolutely regret it. Peggy was nice, very talkative, which John appreciated. He hadn’t felt his chattiest recently.

“You sure? You didn’t eat much.” Peggy gestured to his plate, still holding over half of his meal.

“Not that hungry.” John shrugged and Peggy waved their waitress over, requesting a box for the rest of John’s lunch and the check. John opened his mouth to tell her that wasn’t necessary, but she held her hand up.

“Do you have any plans for the rest of today?” Peggy accepted both the takeout box and the check when the waitress returned, immediately handing over a card without letting John see the amount. He tried to argue again but she hushed him. “If not, you should come to the aquarium with me.”

“I don’t know…” John reached for the box only to have his hand slapped away before Peggy packed up his food for him. “I can do things for myself.”

“I know.” Peggy closed the box and slid it across the table to him. “Doesn’t mean you have to. So, wanna come look at some turtles?” John hesitated. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

John sighed. “Alright, sure.” Peggy grinned, throwing her coat and scarf on as soon as she got her card back and nearly dragging John out of the restaurant.

They weren’t far from the aquarium, just a short walk, and Peggy led him in through a back entrance, immediately into the depths of the aquarium that no visitor had seen before. The first room they entered was an office, rather large, and Peggy shed her coat and took John’s carryout box and gestured for him to remove his as well. She took all of their things, disappeared behind another door, and returned several minutes later with a guest badge for John.

“Welcome to your own VIP tour of my aquarium, Laurens.” She grinned, grabbing his hand and leading him back out and through some halls. “Unfortunately, if you wanna see the _really_ fun stuff you’ve gotta come in on my early shifts. We all switch off, because when I say early I mean I get here at 6:25 in the morning, and boy does that suck ass—but that’s the feeding and cleaning shift. Tons of fun. What’s your favorite sea critter, John?”

“Uh,” John thought for a minute. “Sea turtles? I don’t know.”

“Perfect!” Peggy lit up. “I know just where to start.” Peggy opened another door to a large room filled with tanks, several other aquarists shuffled around and paid the two no mind as they approached a rather large, open tank. It came up to John’s waist and housed a decently sized sea turtle.

Peggy leaned over the edge, stretching out to stroke a hand over its shell with a wide grin. “We just brought her in last month, she was rescued, apparently had a small injury making it hard for her to swim. Isn’t she gorgeous? Wanna pet her?” Peggy leaned back and nudged his shoulder, encouraging him to do so. “She won’t bite.”

John hesitantly reached into the water, dragging a finger down the middle of the shell. The turtle spun around to face him and he jerked back, making Peggy laugh. He could see the injury Peggy mentioned, a strange dent in the side of her foot—fin?—that he imagined couldn’t have felt too nice when it was still a wound.

“She’s just saying ‘hi’.” Peggy gave him an encouraging smile and he reached back out, following the patterns on the turtle’s shell with the tip of his finger, gasping when she turned again and her head bumped against his hand. He couldn’t help the smile that came over his face, the thrill that ran through him as he touched the turtle, the contentment he felt as he pulled his hand back and just watched her move around the tank, seemingly carefree as she cut through the water.

She was a beautiful creature, John was entranced by the patterns on her shell and the way she twisted in the water, and for the first time in a while he itched to recreate this on paper. He hadn’t drawn in… well, _years_. His father thought it was a ridiculous hobby, so he stopped, but every so often he’d see something that just begged for him to draw. Now he could realistically take up drawing again.

“Her name’s Frances.” Peggy informed him, and John’s smile and heart dropped, the world crashing around him again. Peggy noticed, her own smile falling as the mood changed drastically. “John?” He didn’t answer right away, she repeated his name a couple more times before he turned toward her. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” He lied, she could tell he was lying, but she let it slide. She straightened from where she had been leaning against the edge of the tank, clapping her hands together.

“Alright. Ready to move on?” John barely nodded and Peggy took his arm, leading him back out. He was hardly keeping track of what was actually happening anymore, thoughts and memories of Francis crashing over him again just from the sound of his name. On top of those came reminders of the past month, of everything he’d lost so quickly.

Peggy showed him around the aquarium and eventually he managed to pull himself back to reality. She walked him through everything she had to do, check each habitat and track the water temperature, how each fish is doing, if any of them seem off in any way. John finally asked how they could tell, and that was just what Peggy needed to begin her spiel on how each fish is different, with their own personality, and how it’s all about familiarization with each of them. She pointed out some of the manta rays—informing him that if she were to play favorites it would be the mantas—and told him their name and about their personality. John was intrigued, it certainly got his mind off of everything else, and by the end of it he was actually enjoying listening to Peggy talk about her job and the animals and everything she got to do.

Two and a half hours later, he found himself at one of the touch tanks. Peggy had to leave him so she could lead an actual tour around and John declined her offer to let him jump into the group. He sat on the edge of the fake rock, his fingers tracing over the top of the water, mesmerized by ripples he caused.

A dark blob raced past his fingertips and he dipped his hand in further, catching the back of the ray as it whisked its way by again. The ray flipped on its side, letting John see its face, the mouth stretched into what looked like a smile. He felt the corner of his own mouth turn up at that, petting the ray again as it moved beneath his hand.

That wasn’t John’s last visit to the aquarium. He actually came back quite often, now that he knew it was in reasonable walking distance from the house and Peggy would let him in at a discount—sometimes entirely free—and he could just sit around and watch the animals. He bought a new sketch book and some pencils, taking them along one day and bouncing between the manta ray touch pool and the greater ocean exhibit, sitting on a bench and drawing sharks and rays and all of the fish swimming in front of him when he wasn’t petting manta rays.

“You’re pretty good.” Peggy slid onto the bench next to him, watching John’s pencil float over the page as he drew a very detailed saw fish. “Who knew a boring lawyer could have any level of artistic ability.”

“I told you I’m not actually that interested in law.” John glanced back up as the saw fish swam past again, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth as he returned his attention to his drawing.

“So, you’re an artist, masquerading as a lawyer… to appease the ‘rents?” John’s pencil stopped moving, his body tensing for a moment before he cleared his throat and nodded.

“Exactly.”

“Part one of Tragic Backstory uncovered.” Peggy leaned against his arm, she hadn’t missed his reaction to her words and she decided to drop the subject for now. “So, how long you been here? Got any other impressively detailed sea critters in there?”

John appreciated the topic change. He put his pencil down and held his sketchbook out to the woman, “Want to look?” Peggy’s face lit up and she took the book from him, flipping through the pages. She only looked more impressed as she went through them, finally looking up at John with wide eyes.

“Holy shit, dude. These are so good, and this little guy is adorable.” She flipped to a full page drawing of a manta ray, the same one that John could swear always smiled at him when he sat by the touch pool. “Fuck that law school shit, you’re better than that.”

“Didn’t you say your sister worked in law?” John chuckled, taking his sketchbook back from Peggy and tucking it into his bag.

“Yeah, but Angie’s at least kinda cool, too.” Peggy shrugged. “She’s on her way to pick me up, you want a ride home? She usually takes Alex home, too, so it’d be no problem.”

“I think I’ll just make the walk, but thanks.”

“ _Aw_ ,” Peggy threw her arm around John’s shoulder, falling onto him dramatically. “Come on, you still haven’t met our wonderful Angelica and I’m sure she’s going to love you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“The law thing. Don’t get me wrong, you’re cool and cute and shit, too, but she loves when she can talk all sophisticated and lawyer-y at people and they understand her. Liza and I just don’t cut it, that’s why she’s friends with Alexander.”

“That’s it?” John lifted an eyebrow. “There are no other qualities to Alexander?”

“Eh, sure.” Peggy leaned back on her hands, crossing her legs at the knee and watching a hammerhead swim past them. “He’s funny, smart, all the shit you want a person to be, I guess.”

“How long have you known him?”

“Uh… a few years now? He and Liza met when they were, like, sophomores, I think? They met at this ASL slam, which is apparently better than any regular old slam poetry night.”

“Oh, did Eliza take sign language, too?”

“I don’t know if she ever took a class or anything, you’d have to ask her, I’m not writing her biography.” Peggy shrugged. “Her roommate was Deaf, that’s _why_ she learned at least. And now they work together, so it’s good to keep in practice.” Peggy’s phone chimed from her pocket and she dug it out, glancing at the screen. “That’s Angie, you sure you don’t want a ride? How can you pass up convenience like this, Laurens?”

“If you just want more face time with me, Peggy, all you have to do is ask.” John winked and pulled the strap of his bag over his shoulder as he stood. “I know I’m hard to resist. Lead the way.”

Peggy led him out of the building and to a small black Prius with lime green stripes on the side. The overhead light was on and he could see Alex in the passenger seat, partially blocked by a head of curly hair.

Peggy knocked on the driver side window once they reached the car, startling the girl behind the wheel and making Alex laugh next to her. John will always remember the harsh glare that burned clear through the window as Angelica turned around, the first he’d ever seen of her, as she flipped Peggy off and hit a button, unlocking the back doors.

As soon as Peggy opened the door, loud music flooded out. John could feel the base as he slid into the backseat next to Peggy, who was now raising her voice to be heard over the strained vocals of a guy singing about some shitty life situation. At least, that’s what John assumed, he couldn’t exactly make out the lyrics.

“Angie, this is John Laurens, Alex and Herc’s new roommate.”

Angelica turned in her seat, holding her hand out, which John took courteously. She said something as she dropped John’s hands, but her words were lost beneath a heavy drum beat and John furrowed his brows, “What?” She turned back to Alex, holding a finger up, before reaching out to turn the volume of the music down.

“Sorry, not used to a lot of actual talking,” Angelica laughed. “Nice to finally meet you, John Laurens. I’ve heard quite a bit about you. Does the music bother you?”

John shook his head, “It’s fine.”

“Great, I assume I’m just dropping you off with Alex, then? Or is Peggy officially trying to sell me as a chauffeur?”

“Oh, I, uh—she said it wouldn’t be a problem, but if it is I can just—” John shifted awkwardly, already half-reaching for the door, and Angelica laughed again. It was a stark contrast to the initial glare he had seen, but for some reason it still intimidated him.

“It’s fine, I’m joking.” She assured him. “Any friend of Alex’s is highly questionable, but my sister seems to like you as well and I trust her judgement a little more, so you can consider yourself a friend of mine.”

She turned back to the front, turning the music back up, shutting the overhead light off, and pulling out of the parking lot. John tried to ignore the fact that he could see her still signing to Alex while she was driving, not only signing but also seeming to go significantly over the speed limit. He sank back into his seat, watching the streetlights and buildings pass by, aware of how close Peggy was, and the subtle cinnamon scent coming from the Yankee Candle vent clips in the front. How quickly the world was moving past him. How quickly his life was moving past him, and he was still stuck, unemployed, not even sure where he would want to be employed.

Later that night, after he had gotten comfortable and tucked into his bed, his phone went off.

 

_From: Peggy_

**_> r u still ‘seeking employment’? _ **

_From: John_

**_> at the moment yea_ **

**_> why? _ **

****

_From: Peggy_

**_> job @ the aquarium_ **

**_> interested?_ **

**_> i could put a word in 4 u _ **

****

Maybe things could start looking up.

* * *

 

Sign language was definitely harder to pick up than John had originally thought, but Herc had offered to help after he found out and John finally thought he was getting the hang of it. He could converse well enough with Hercules, though he would often get frustrated at not knowing the exact sign for the word he wanted and due to his frustration it would take him longer to figure out how to ask. But Hercules helped him perfect the basics, practice handshape and fingerspelling, and fully understand the concept of ‘the box’ that his ASL book had mentioned. When signing you had to move within a certain area, and all things within that box helped build the context of what you were signing, meaning the shoulders, head, and face were just as important to a sign as the hands.

Alex was gone a majority of the time, something John hadn’t realized since he had spent so long holed up in his own room. He had been gone before John got up and home late every day this week, but come Friday he seemed to have a break. He got home in the early afternoon, finding John in the kitchen making himself lunch. They shared a smile and nod as Alex came in, depositing his things on a kitchen chair. John noticed him going for his phone and turned around, waving until he got Alex’s attention.

‘ _I’m learning ASL._ ’ John stumbled through the sentence, pausing for half a second between each sign and focusing particularly on the ‘ASL’ because he still got the ‘A’ and the ‘S’ confused.

Alex raised his eyebrows, a smile teasing the edge of his lips as he slid his right hand over the left, ‘ _Nice_.’

Alex dropped himself to half-speed, though John still had to ask him to repeat himself before finally piecing the three signs together. ‘ _How much have you learned?_ ’

John frowned, face scrunched up as he held up his hand, ‘ _Very little._ ’ That made Alex chuckle.

‘ _But you’re learning_.’ Alex gestured to the stove, furrowing his brow as he asked, ‘ _What are you making?_ ’

“Ah!” John grinned, excited, confidently clasping his hands together. Alex blinked and John’s confidence started to drop, plummeting as Alex’s silent confusion gave way to snickers. He waved his hands, composing himself and grabbing the whiteboard they kept on the fridge. He scribbled something down in his sloppy block letters and turned it to John.

 

HAMBURGER 

 

John nodded, he thought that’s what he had signed. Alex smiled again, shaking his head a little and writing ‘MARRIAGE’ beneath that and putting the board back on the fridge. He repeated the sign John had done, clasping his hands together, then pointed to ‘MARRIAGE’. John’s face flushed, _oh_.

Alex did the same thing again, then clasped them the other way, and pointed to ‘HAMBURGER’. ‘ _You make hamburgers, not marriage_.’ 

‘ _Sorry_.’ John glanced back at the stove, then looked at Alex, hoping to redeem himself. ‘ _Do you want a burger?_ ’

‘ _Sure. Thank you._ ’ Alex slid into a kitchen chair as John turned back to the stove to finish their lunch. They ate in silence, Alex’s focus stolen by his sandwich and John’s stolen by Alex. He tried not to be obvious, but he glanced over at the man far more times than socially acceptable. He hoped Alex hadn’t noticed, but of course…

‘ _Enjoy the view?_ ’ Alex’s smile was devious, knowing, and while John only caught part of the sign, he knew the gist. He flushed, ducking his head and shoving the last bite of his burger into his mouth. Alex tapped the table, raising one eyebrow when John finally lifted his head. ‘ _You okay?_ ’

John nodded. He shot up, taking their empty plates and depositing them into the sink. It was something to do with his back to Alex, though he could still feel the other’s eyes on him.

He kept facing the sink, running the water and washing the plates, hoping that by the time he finished Alex would be gone so his stomach would settle and he’d lose that strange feeling in his chest. He couldn’t figure out what he thought of Alex, and honestly wasn’t sure if he knew the other well enough to think anything. Sure, he was nice, a decent roommate so far. There were no red flags, but they had hardly interacted.

Alex was still there when John turned around. They locked eyes and John swallowed thickly.

‘ _Do you want to watch a movie?_ ’ Alex jerked his head back to the living room, John took a few seconds to process the request but finally agreed. Maybe this would be their chance to bond. He followed Alex into the living room and settled onto the couch, hugging a pillow to his chest as Alex flipped through Netflix. ‘ _Any favorites_?’

John shrugged, hand moving from his nose to the open air in front of him in a swift flick of his wrist. ‘ _I don’t care_.’ Alex’s lips quirked. He took John’s hand, and John’s heart started racing.

He didn’t realize what was happening until Alex readjusted his handshape, helping him correct the sign. After he let go, and John forced himself to take two slow breaths and calm the hell down, he repeated the sign. Alex nodded his approval and turned back to the Netflix list.

After what felt like centuries to John, Alex finally settled on a movie. A foreign film that John hadn’t heard of before. It was in French, which John was actually fluent in. As the opening credits rolled, Alex taught John the sign for ‘French’ (an ‘F’ handshape with a flick of the wrist, it even _felt_ French), and John asked why he chose a French film.

‘ _I can’t hear it anyway. Captions are already in English._ ’

John laughed, caught off guard by how simple the explanation was. ‘ _Do you know French?_ ’

Alex pulled out his phone, finally, and started typing in a note.

 

_no offense but it would take too long to sign this stuff and you actually get it_

_i learned to speak french when i was young_

_obviously haven’t practiced much of that recently_

_didn’t read it as much, but i could probably get by_

 

The movie officially started before John could think of a response. Alex sat his phone next to him, nudging John’s arm just to make sure he was focusing on the movie, and John _tried_ to focus on the movie.

He was very aware of not being alone. He could feel Alex next to him, could feel the few inches between them. Could feel his own heart racing again just from how _aware_ he was every time Alex shifted, tilted his head, or crossed his legs. It was all he could focus on, despite keeping his eyes trained straight ahead on the television. 

_You're pathetic, Laurens_ , he thought to himself. Before he knew it, they were halfway through the film.  

“Daddy’s home!” Hercules called over the front door slamming open, and quickly followed by loud rapping on the wall. “Let it be known, Laurens, that you’re never to call me daddy _or_ tell Alex that I said that, I’m just in a damn good mood and that’s what came out.”

Hercules rounded the hall into the living room, tossing his bag onto a chair and stepping in front of the TV. “Another fuckin’ French movie?” He groaned, speaking and signing simultaneously again. John was still impressed as hell by that, even more so now that he was learning to sign. It took all of his concentration to use the right signs, let alone speak regular English as he did it. “Y’all can wait, pause your movie, guess who got a _bonus_ from the Pageant Mom today!”

Alex did pause the movie, though he didn’t seem impressed by Hercules’ news. He watched him with one eyebrow arched, arms crossed over his chest. Hercules sighed.

“You can’t be pissed about me interrupting your dumbass French movie, Alex. Do you understand what I’m telling you? Papa got _paid_ , today.”

Alex’s brow moved further up his forehead. John was impressed by its dexterity.

“Do you know what that _means_?”

The other eyebrow joined its friend in Alex’s hairline. Hercules deflated.

“Fuck it, you”—he pointed an especially accusatory finger at Alex—“are _not_ invited to the festivities. John and I will go out. You know,”—now his words were directed at John—“he just watches this shit to piss me off. Knows I can’t understand a lick of French _and_ I hate subtitles.”

Alex finally reacted, a quick motion that John didn’t even catch, but it made Hercules scoff.

“Of course it’s true, because you’re a little bitch.” The hint of a smile as he turned ruined the aggressive tone to his words. He waved a hand over his head as he grabbed his bag and left the room, “Finish your fuckin’ movie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you so much for reading! This is turning into a sort of experiment in writing style, whatwith incorporating sign language and the visuals that go along with it, so let me know what you think so I can keep growing and improving? And keeping y'all satisfied? 
> 
> Comments & Kudos are like Hugs & Kisses, which are the Best. 
> 
> Feel free to come bug me on Tumblr whenever @hypeulesnochilligan
> 
> Thanks again, friends! Until next week!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go out to celebrate; and have a few regrets the next day. Just a few.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! 
> 
> This is a short update, more as an apology for not updating recently. I'm back at school and trying to figure out a new schedule to write - plus, being back at school has inspired me to write more on a college au I had started, so my writing time is split between this, that, and my work for musical theatre. 
> 
> But enough excuses, here we have a nice little chapter that I hope you all enjoy.

What Hercules’ bonus meant was that they were going out. After Alex and John finished their movie (and Alex assured John that he truly did enjoy French cinema, but it _also_ annoyed Hercules, so that was just a plus) they were instructed to “put yourselves together, look nice, we’re going _out_ ”.

John hadn’t intentionally tried to ‘look nice’ in what felt like months. He stared at himself in the mirror Hercules bought him two weeks ago, full-length and hanging on the inside of his closet door. His hair needed washed, so he pulled it back, smoothing it down until it looked fairly presentable. He found some dark jeans that weren’t torn or stained, and a button-up that he was pretty sure was clean enough. He didn’t really know what Hercules’ definition of ‘nice’ was, but he would try.

Out, in Hercules’ terms, meant to a bar. A little place tucked between a thrift store and a general store with rustic interior, low lighting, and bare minimum decorations. Alex led them toward a booth in the back as Hercules went straight to the bar. John voted to follow Alex, sliding into the seat across from him.

“Hey, boys, come here often?” A voice carried over the music thrumming through the bar and suddenly someone was sliding in next to John and throwing an arm over his shoulder. Peggy grinned at the surprised look on his face, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Alex looked away, focusing instead on Angelica and Eliza who were standing at the end of the booth.

“What are y’all doing here?” John grinned, accepting Peggy scooting closer as Eliza pushed in next to her. Peggy shrugged a shoulder.

“We were in the area.”

“Of course we were, we live here.” Angelica quipped across the table. “Herc texted us. Where is he—Ah! There’s the man of the hour!”

Hercules made it to the table, carrying a tray with several drinks and depositing it in the middle of the table. “Margarita for Margarita,” he said, sliding a glass to Peggy. He went about handing out the rest of the drinks, a fruity cocktail for Angelica, Long Island Iced Tea for Eliza, scotch for Alex, rum and coke for John, and a martini for himself.

“Nice Mom Drink, Mulligan.” Peggy teased. Hercules narrowed his eyes and lifted his glass, as if to cheers, before taking a long drink. Angelica laughed, nudging Hercules after he slid in next to her.

“If anyone deserves a Mom Drink it’s Mulligan, especially now that he’s taking care of _two_ children.” Angelica laughed again, until the table jerked and she cried out, glaring at Alex, who had a smug look on his face after kicking her under the table. The glare moved to Eliza, who had been interpreting the conversation for him, and finally settled back on her drink.

The conversation flowed as well as the drinks, and several rum and cokes led John out of the booth and onto the dance floor, Peggy’s arms around his neck.

“So, you’re picking up sign language now?” Peggy’s mouth was close to John’s ear, the only way they could hear each other now that they were at the heart of the bar, crowded on all sides. John shrugged, Peggy felt it more than saw it. “How are you and Alex doing?”

“I’m… fine, and I guess he is, too?” John pointedly acted like he didn’t understand what she was saying. Peggy didn’t drop it.

“Okay, but how are, _youandAlex_.” He could almost hear the wink in her voice.

“There is no _meandAlex_ ,” he sighed.

“Mhm.”

Peggy leaned back to look at his face, eyebrows raised to her hairline. John rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to comment but was cut short when he felt a tap on his shoulder, turning to find Alex. He made a gesture with two fingers between them, then flipped his hand and waved it over the other. ‘ _You wanna dance?_ ’ John glanced back at Peggy just long enough to catch her smirk before turning back to Alex with a smile and a nod.

They were close and John was tipsy and Alex was drunk. Peggy slipped away and the crowd closed in further, pushing them so close that they couldn’t sign even if they wanted to, leaving them unable to communicate. At least, that’s what John thought, until Alex pressed closer and it had nothing to do with the crowd. They were touching from shoulder to waist, Alex’s hand flat and broad over the small of John’s back and his breath hot on John’s neck, and there were no words or signs needed. The message was clear, and John felt his own breath leave him.

It felt like he was lost in a haze, his own body warm and floating from the drinks Hercules kept pushing toward him. He wasn’t exactly the greatest at handling his booze. His thoughts were racing and moving at a snail’s pace simultaneously, constantly lapping over themself, and he realized and realized and realized that Alex was getting closer, that his mouth was on his neck, that he had left a mark beneath his jaw.

That their faces were inches apart, Alex’s eyes meeting his in the dimly lit room, questioning, and John was nodding before he could overthink it.

That Alex’s lips were soft, kisses hungry and urgent, both hands at his waist now, pulling him closer.

That he was kissing Alex back at the same feverish pace, hands getting lost in his dark tangles, holding him as close as he could.

That he was _enjoying_ every second of it. Every sweep of Alex’s tongue, every time he’d bite his lower lip or deepen the kiss or pull John ever closer, so close that he swore he could feel Alex’s heart beating through his chest. Or maybe that was his own.

John wasn’t sure how long he stood there kissing Alex in the middle of that crowd. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed at that bar, or if they went to any others after. He could barely remember stumbling into his room, shedding his pants, and burrowing beneath his blankets. Come morning, all he knew was that his head was throbbing, his mouth was dry, and all he wanted to do was stay hidden beneath his blankets for the rest of his life.

He finally felt human enough to emerge from his room around two in the afternoon, surprised to find Hercules up and cooking. He made a beeline for the coffee maker, dully ecstatic to see that a pot had already been made.

“Finally, he rises,” Hercules teased, watching John pour himself a cup of coffee. John turned to face him, wincing, opening his mouth to complain but Hercules put a hand up to silence him, pointing at a bottle of Tylenol on the counter. John nodded his thanks before taking one. “Alex is still in bed, figured you two would sleep in, y’all got hammered last night.” Hercules laughed. “But I decided to take pity on you and make a late breakfast, should be done in about ten.”

“I appreciate that a lot,” John started, voice raspy and low. “So, just know that before I say this next sentence. Please stop speaking.” Hercules laughed, one sharp, loud sound. John winced. “And…that.”

“Sorry,” Hercules said it softer and stopped speaking for the time being. John sat down at the kitchen table, resting his head in his arms and trying to will his headache and nausea to go away.

Alex emerged half an hour later, happily accepting the bacon and eggs that Hercules and John had saved for him before dragging himself back to the couch. The rest of the day was slow, Alex and John spent most of it on the couch, watching several hours’ worth of _Friends_ while Hercules went in and out, working on projects and throwing food at them every few hours. Their hangovers subsided and Alex took out his phone, typing out comments every now and then in his notes and handing it to John.

Before he knew it, Hercules had finished dinner, they ate together in mostly silence, and as the later hours drew closer they went to their separate rooms. It was a lazy day, not unlike the many lazy days John had over the past few weeks, but this time was different. It was nicer, spending it with another person, enjoying doing nothing while enjoying someone’s presence.

John slept better that night, better than he had in a very long while, tucking away the day as a collection of nice memories with Alex. The way he would tilt his head back after a particularly good joke landed in the show, sometimes even in preparation because he _knew_ a joke was about to land. His thumbs often hovered frantically over the screen while he worked out what the type, before racing across the keyboard. Every few episodes he would be a few inches closer to John, until they were finally both leaning into each other, Alex’s hair tickling John’s cheek.

It was a good day, one of the better days, and John looked forward to Alex and Hercules giving him more of those better days to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know what you thought in a comment! 10 points if you tell me your favorite part of this story so far. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Hopefully I can get this updated a little more frequently. <3
> 
> As always, you can find me on Tumblr: @hypeulesnochilligan


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He hoped Alex didn’t remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a WHILE and I apologize for that. 
> 
> But here's the next chapter. Introducing an important player, introducing an important angsty plot point. Re-introducing me to this fic, I'll try to be better at updating now that I'm on summer break. 
> 
> You're all great, thank you so much for being patient!

John started his new job on a Tuesday, and within the next week he had conquered the espresso machine and felt fairly competent when opening and closing. Which was good, seeing as he was quickly stuck with the opening shift every day. His boss liked to sleep in, and none of the other employees were keen to getting to the aquarium by eight in the morning. Opening the aquarium café really only required one person, and if he were being honest, he actually enjoyed the quiet hours. The aquarium didn’t actually open until 10:30, so when he got there the only people around were the early bird aquarists that were checking tanks and prepping meals for the animals. Peggy was often one of these. 

“One venti—” A cup hit Peggy’s hand before she could even get the rest of her sentence out, the largest cup John had, still nearly too hot to hold. She took a scalding sip, smacking her lips together with a smile. “Perfect, as usual. Looking to get employee of the month, Laurens?”

John snorted. “Looking to keep you happy so I don’t get fired. I’m not sure what strings you pulled, but if making your disgusting coffee every morning keeps them from being pulled in another direction, I’ll take it.”

“I don’t have that much pull.” Peggy took a seat at the counter, and quickly hopped onto the counter and spun around so her feet dangled over the side in front of John.

“Hey—!”

“You’re going to wipe it down at least five more times before we come close to opening, chill.” Peggy took another drink of her coffee. “It’s what you get for insulting my coffee order.”

“Your order is worse than Alex’s,” John rolled his eyes, turning away from her to continue his opening routine. She was right, he was going to wipe down the counter approximately five more times simply out of boredom once everything was set for the day. “And that’s saying something, because I’m pretty sure he has a caffeine-infused death wish.”

“Probably.” Peggy agreed, followed by a long moment of silence in which John assumed she was continuing to drink the mostly hot caramel syrup beverage. “Speaking of Alex, how is he?”

John paused. Shrugged. “He’s alright, I guess. Uh, haven’t really seen him much this week, Herc said he’s got some kind of… big project, or something. I don’t know.”

“Unsurprising, the boy’s always up to something to keep himself busy.” Peggy ran her fingers around the top of her cup, tapping her thumb against the center in a tapered rhythm. “How are… the two of you?”

John paused again, held back the urge to look back at the girl. What was she trying to get at? He shrugged, again. “Uhm… al… right?”

“Just alright?” Peggy hummed, sitting her cup down next to her. John did turn around at that, flicking the towel he had been using to wipe down the counter over his shoulder.

“Should there be more?” Peggy lifted her shoulders in an exaggerated shrug, grinning and humming innocently. John stepped up to her, flicking her in the knee. “What?”

“It’s just—judging from the way you two were at the club,” she bounced her shoulders again. “Just curious, how that all turned out.”

“How what all turned out?” John furrowed his brows, really not certain what Peggy could have been talking about. He tried to think back to the bar, not really remembering much past Hercules sliding drink after drink to him.

“Do you not remember?” Peggy crossed her legs and tilted her head. John gave her an exasperated look, _isn’t that obvious?_ “Damn, that sucks. You two were getting pretty hot and heavy on the dance floor before you left.”

“What?” A streak of panic shot down John’s spine, only growing as he tried to remember the night and couldn’t. “What happened? I—”

“I’m sure he doesn’t either.” Peggy sat her drink down and leaned back on her hands, kicking her feet until her toes brushed the edge of John’s shirt. John smacked at her ankle, suddenly frustrated. Mostly at himself, for apparently ‘getting _hot and heavy_ ’ with Alex and not remembering it.

“What happened? What am I not remembering?” He grabbed Peggy’s ankle as she nudged him again and she rolled her eyes.

“He came over and you two started making out. Then you left.” Peggy’s shoulders bounced and she tilted her head back. “That’s all I saw at least.”

Panic ran through John’s body again. “You don’t think we… _did_ anything… do you?”

“Did you wake up in his bed or yours?”

John thought back to that morning, frowning. “Mine.”

“Was he there?” John shook his head.

“Were you clothed?” John nodded.

“No signs of accidentally fucking there, I think you’re safe.”

John breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you think I should talk to him? About it?”

“If you’re ready for that conversation,” Peggy looked John over. “Something tells me you’re not, though. Do you even know how you feel about him?”

John opened his mouth, as if he had an answer, but of course he did not. He was saved from having to find one.

“Good morning, everyone.” A heavy accent rang through the air and a new face sashayed—literally _sashayed_ —into the café. “May I have one medium coffee, _s’il vous plait_?” John went to work on the coffee as Peggy spun around and roped the mysterious man into an embrace.

“Lafayette, since when are you on morning shifts?” Lafayette picked the girl up from the counter and spun her, both of them laughing, before he sat her back and kissed each cheek.

“Since now, _mon ami_. They have moved me onto the cephalopods, they need around the watch care.” Lafayette turned his attention to John as he took his coffee. “Octopode, they are some of the smartest creatures in the sea, were you aware? We hear stories of them escaping all too often, because they are smarter than most aquarists. You are new, who are you?”

“John Laurens.”

“Ah, I am Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roche Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette.”

John looked stunned and Peggy giggled behind her hand.

“So, can I just pick one of those and go with it?” John nudged at Peggy’s hip and she hopped off the counter, taking her coffee and sitting instead in a seat as John began wiping down the counter again.

“Most people call me Lafayette, but sure.”

“Alright, Yves.” The man smiled at John, seeming pleased with his decision as he took a sip of coffee. “So, you’re an aquarist, too?”

“Why else would I be here so early?”

“Well, I’m here early and I’m not an aquarist."

Lafayette opened his mouth then promptly shut it again, smiling wider this time. “Touché. I have not seen you around before, when did you start?”

“A few weeks ago, but I’m out of here by two.”

“Well, that explains that.” Lafayette leaned his elbows on the counter. “I am looking forward to my new schedule now.” He threw John a wink and John wasn’t sure what to make of that, but he was sure it was something good. 

* * *

 

‘ _How was work?_ ’

For the first time in a few weeks, Alex was home when John got back. He was in the kitchen, making a wrap with salami, provolone, and some veggies. He offered to make John one, and John, stomach growling as soon as he stepped through the door, agreed. They sat down together to eat and Alex tried to start a conversation. _‘How was work_?’

John spread his fingers and bounced his thumb against his chest. ‘ _Fine_.’ Pointed to Alex, ‘ _How about you_?’

Alex sat his wrap down, making an exaggerated face and running a hand up his arm, and continued to sign. ‘ _Loong_. _I’ve been working for a month straight, I’m exhausted_.’

‘ _Is it worth it, though_?’

‘ _Of course it is. You’re getting better at signing_.’

John grinned, proud of himself and happy that Alex noticed. ‘ _I’ve been practicing_.’

‘ _We can almost have a full conversation now_.’ Alex winked and started eating his wrap again. They were silent as they finished lunch, then moved into the living room and sat down to watch a show together.

John couldn’t help but think about what Peggy had told him, and wondered if Alex remembered anything. Were they both pointedly not bringing it up now, or was Alex as unaware as John had been? He tried not to let himself get distracted by how close Alex was sitting, tried to focus on the show instead of trying to recall how Alex tasted that night.

_Probably like alcohol, John. Because you were both drunk. So it didn’t even count._ But did he want it to?

Alex nudged him. ‘ _You okay_?’

John nodded, leaning into him as if that would prove it. Alex took it, leaning back into him, and John pretended that he didn’t notice the blush or the bashful smile on Alex’s face at the action.

He hoped Alex didn’t remember. Or that he was not saying anything because he wanted to forget.

At least until John could figure out what he wanted, what he was thinking, what was wrong with him.

Until then, he hoped Alex didn’t remember.

He would continue to focus on work, and on Lafayette, and on the fact that Lafayette was focusing on him. He was starting to get there before Peggy now, and they would talk until Peggy arrived and then the three of them would talk until those two had to leave and John had to open. And it was nice.

And it confused him even more.

And he still hoped Alex didn’t remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments & Kudos make me feel extremely fulfilled. 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: @hypeulesnochilligan


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aquarium Bonding & Parks and Rec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, we're gonna get some more plot soon. I just went back over my outline for this fic, and things will go down.

The aquarium café was busy, busy to the point that John almost felt bad about taking his break. But it was already an hour past his usual break time, his feet were killing him and his stomach was growling. He left his co-workers to fill all the orders, grabbed a muffin and coffee, and made his way around the counter.

 “Going on break?"

John looked up at the familiar voice, heavy accent. Lafayette. “Yeah. You?” 

“ _Oui_.”

John grinned, “Want to split a muffin?”

“ _Oui_ , I would adore that.”

Lafayette led John away from the crowded café, into a quieter part of the aquarium. Behind one of the larger ocean life exhibits, where only the aquarists were allowed, hidden away from the public.

“It is quiet back here, _non_?” Lafayette sat down on a bench, against a wall, and John sat next to him.

“Yeah, it is.” He watched the sharks and bigger fish swimming through the tank. He didn’t really get to see the exhibits that often, typically ready to leave as soon as his shift was over because he wanted—no, _needed_ —a nap. He unwrapped the muffin, splitting it in half and sitting it between them.

“What’s your favorite?” Lafayette gestured to the tank with his head, tearing off a piece of muffin and popping it into his mouth as he waited for John’s answer. Just as John was about to respond, a sea turtle swam by. The same one that he had met the first time Peggy brought him here, nearly two months ago, injured fin and all.

“That one.” John pointed to her, smiling.

“She’s lovely,” Lafayette agreed. “So is he.” He was pointing to a manta ray coming up to the side of the tank. The ray did a flip, swam in a loop, then swimming away again. “He loves to show off.”

“Are those the ones you work with?” John picked at the muffin, far more interested in Lafayette than his lunch. Lafayette nodded.

“They can be a hand, ah, load?”

“Handful?”

“Right, yes.”

“So, you’re from France?”

Lafayette grinned. “Yes, that is why I have not got a good hand on all of your, ah, American slang terminology just yet. But I’m catching on quickly, according to Peggy.”

“Is she teaching you?” John laughed at the idea, Peggy teaching Lafayette all of the strange phrases Americans used.

“A little bit.” Lafayette pulled his phone out. “She showed me this website, urban dictionary? She said it should help me.”

John laughed again, a little harder. “Yeah, that one should help out.”

John’s laughter died down and they ate their muffin in silence, both of them watching the animals swim around. Until Lafayette spoke up again, turning and watching John instead.

“What about you? Where are you from?”

“South Carolina.”

“I have never been there. You should take me sometime.”

John chuckled, “I doubt you would want to go.”

“On the contrary, I would like to visit all 50 of the United States.”

John looked up and Lafayette was smiling. It was a nice smile, crinkling his nose and the corners of his eyes, and simply at the idea of visiting every state?

“That’s a great goal. I wanted to do that once.”

“We should do it together.” Lafayette put a hand on his arm and John’s nerves jumped at the contact, his skin buzzing beneath the Frenchman’s warm palm. “Not now, obviously, but someday. It would be a fun road trip.”

“Only if you promise to take me to France one day.” The muffin had been eaten, John crumbled the paper up in his hand and scooted closer to Lafayette, leaning into him a little as he spoke. Lafayette leaned into him as well.

“Of course. I will take you to the estate I was born on, Chavaniac. It is in Auvergne, south of Paris. And, of course, I will take you to Paris. That is a given.”

“Did you ever live in Paris?”

John was entranced by every word that fell from Lafayette’s lips.

“Oh, yes. When I was twelve I went to a boarding school, and I remained in Paris after that until I came here.”

“What brought you here?”

Lafayette considered his answer, humming softly. “I needed something new. An adventure… and moving here, it was an adventure. I lived in New York for a few years, and then I moved here when I got this job. It was... sort of a dream job.”

“That’s really great.”

“How did you get here? You’re a while away from South Carolina.”

“Oh,” John’s ears turned red, burning with embarrassment. The reason he was here was because he was disowned, but that was too much to tell someone when you’ve just met them. “Um, my dad… he works in government, and I just recently moved to the area to stay with some friends. Just… needed a change of pace, like you said. Needed an adventure.”

“I’m sure you’ll find that in this aquarium.” John couldn’t tell if Lafayette was being serious or sarcastic, and he wasn’t sure if he cared either way.

His phone went off, informing him that his break was over, and he stood up.

“I should get back.”

“Me, too. Thank you for spending your break with me, John Laurens. It was lovely.”

“Of course, Yves,” John shot him a grin. “Anytime.” And he meant that.

* * *

John sank into the couch, ready to start binging a new show. He started _Parks & Recreation_, since everyone at work seemed to be talking about it. Especially Peggy, she couldn’t sing enough praises. 

The cushion next to him sunk down and he turned to find Alex, who quickly signed, ‘ _Is this okay?_ ’

John nodded, really just surprised that Alex is home this early. He tapped Alex’s shoulder. ‘ _What are you doing home?_ ’

Alex shrugged, flung his hands out then swiped his right hand over his left fist, all fairly exaggerated. ‘ _Got done early_.’

John accepted it. A few seconds later Alex reached out and paused the show, turning toward John on the couch.

‘ _I have a lot to tell you, do you think you can keep up?_ ’

John was getting better at ASL, at least interpreting Alex. He was a fast signer, but after working with Hercules while Alex was at work, as well as all of the YouTube videos and workbooks, he thought he had a decent enough grasp on it. So he nodded, turning to face Alex and watching him intently.

‘ _There’s this guy, at work,_ ’ Alex started, using basic signs. Thumb bouncing from his forehead to his chest, pointing to the side, and tapping his fists together. John could keep up. ‘ _He is the_ worst _. Even worse, he’s Angie’s friend. Angelica, you know, Eliza’s sister?_ ’

It took him a minute to connect the last few signs and realize they were a question. He nodded, yes, he knew Eliza’s sister. Angelica.

‘ _They’re friends._ ’ Alex interlocked his pointer fingers roughly, obvious distaste in his voice and motion. ‘ _But he hates me. I’m only an intern, but he wants me fired, because he thinks I’m..._ ’

John reached out, gesturing to Alex to repeat himself. He didn’t quite understand the last part. Alex slowed down.

‘ _He thinks I’m bringing the firm down. Because I’m Deaf_.’

John brows furrowed, mouth dropping open and he frowned. ‘ _Seriously?_ ’

Alex nodded so hard John was afraid he would strain his neck. ‘ _Seriously! He’s an…_ ’ Alex paused, then fingerspelled the word, unable to think of a sign. ‘ _Ableist._ _And he doesn’t hide it. It’s disgusting. So, today he comes in and starts yelling at me. Not out of anger, but because that’s how he thinks he has to speak to me. So he started yelling, and I can read his lips so I really don’t need him to yell. What was he yelling? That he was pulling me from the case because it was too much for the firm to find an interpreter that often._ ’

‘ _That’s bullshit_.’ John signed, reaching out to… to what? He pulled his hand back, hoping Alex didn’t notice the awkward gesture. ‘ _I’m sorry_.’

‘ _It’s not your fault. He’s an asshole. But that’s why I’m home early_.’

John just gave him a thumbs down and stuck out his tongue out. It wasn’t a sign, just a gesture that made Alex chuckle. He grabbed the remote again and turned the show back on, settling back into the couch, slightly closer to John this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos mean everything to me. 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr, now @lafbaeyette (finally)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John spends quality time with some rays, some turtles, Alex, and Laf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow guess who managed to get back on track with this fic
> 
> it's me
> 
> enjoy!

John’s fingers grazed over the back of one of the rays as he leaned against the edge of the touch tank, smooth, almost slimy skin beneath his fingertips. The ray doubled back, running beneath his hand again and flipping over to do it a third time. John smiled, letting the ray flap at him as it came closer to the side of the tank. He could swear the little guy was smiling at him, and he smiled back. This particular ray, he had learned earlier from one of the closing aquarists, was named Jace. Jace was a friendly ray, flipping over, flapping the water, and running up against John’s hand. He wouldn’t tell the other rays, but Jace may have been his favorite.

The aquarium was closed, so he was the only one at the tank. The aquarist he had been talking to had left to take care of another tank, leaving him alone with Jace and the other rays. Or so he thought, until someone tapped him on the shoulder, making him jump and nearly fall into the tank himself.

Alex was chuckling quietly when John turned to look at him, his brows furrowing him confusion.

‘ _We’re closed_.’

‘ _I’m riding with Angie and Peggy, too_.'

Right. Alex typically got a ride home with Angelica, who had to pick up Peggy, and tonight John was back in that carpool. Something had happened to Hercules’ car, so John let him borrow his, but that left him with the task of finding another way home. He had almost considered asking Lafayette, but of course Peggy jumped in to rescue him before he even said anything. Somehow knowing.

Alex sat on the edge of the touch tank, next to John, and watched the rays swimming around. Jace came over again, poking his head out of the water. John nudged Alex’s shoulder before asking, ‘ _You ever pet one before?_ ’

Alex shook his head and John grinned, grabbed Alex’s wrist and brought his hand to the water. He held his own hand out flat, dipping it into the water and petting along Jace’s back to demonstrate, then gestured for Alex to do the same. The other man was hesitant, until John grabbed his wrist again, guiding his hand into the water until Jace could rub against his fingertips.

Alex jerked his hand back, gasping, and John was absolutely _beaming_. A moment later, Alex put his hand back in and pet the ray again, his own face lighting up with a big smile that made John’s heart swoop in his chest.

‘ _They feel weird_.’ Alex signed with his other hand, still petting the ray as he turned over beneath the water. John nodded.

‘ _They’re one of my favorites_.’

‘ _What’s your favorite?_ ’ Alex pulled his hand back, shaking the excess water off and smiling up at John. John didn’t even have to think before making a fist with his right hand and covering it with his left, nothing but his thumb showing.

‘ _Turtles_.’

‘ _Cute_.’

John chuckled, ducking his head.

“Boys!” Peggy’s voice filled the air and the lights in the room flickered, catching their attention. She moved her arm in a huge sweeping motion, toward the door. “Let’s go.”

John stood up, holding his hand out to help Alex up. Alex took it, and maybe held on a little longer than he needed to after they started following Peggy and Angelica. John didn’t pull his hand away, either, though, and Alex took comfort in that.

* * *

“John, mon ami!” Lafayette sprung into the café, right up to the counter where John was wiping it down during a lull at the end of his shift. He put his hands flat on the counter, leaning into John’s space, until their faces were barely a breath away and John’s face flushed at the realization of how close they were. He didn’t have time to react, though, because Lafayette grabbed his wrist and leaned back. “Can I steal you for a moment? I want to show you something.”

John looked around, threw a questioning glance at the nearest co-worker, a small man that called out sick half the time but John always covered him so he gave John a quick nod.

“Sure.”

The word had barely left his mouth before Lafayette was pulling him around the counter and out of the café, up a long set of stairs that John hadn’t seen before. They came out at the top of the big tank, the open ocean exhibit.

“Peggy told me that you were a fan of Frances,” Lafayette explained, opening up a gate and stepping onto a platform that hung above the water. He gestured for John to step onto it, too, which he did cautiously, holding onto Lafayette’s extended hand with a death grip at fear of slipping or falling in. “Don’t worry, this is sturdy.”

“Frances was the rescued turtle, right?” John asked after a minute, wondering why Lafayette had brought him here. Lafayette settled down cross-legged at the edge of the platform, and John followed suit, looking down as the fish, rays, and sharks milled around below them.

“Oui, she was part of the rescue program. However, she was not able to be released back into the wild. Her injuries were too great, so we are keeping her here.” Lafayette pointed out across the water, as a familiar fin popped out of the water. “She likes to hang out near the top of the tank around this time, it is close to feeding.”

Frances swam over, just in front of the platform they were sitting on, and doubled back around the pass by again.

“You can touch her; she will hang out over here because she believes we are going to feed her.”

John reached out, his hand dipping just below the water to stroke down her shell. “I feel bad for tricking her.”

“It is okay; she is going to be fed soon.” Lafayette leaned back, watching John watch the turtle, eyes wide and gleaming, like a child. “I wanted to bring you to see her, before the feeding. Of course, you can stay to watch that as well—there is a school group that will be here, so you’ll have to be on the other side of this gate.”

“You bring school groups to watch feeding time?”

“Oh, yes, it is part of the education program. I bring the kids in and explain what each animal eats, how we feed them, and so on.”

John furrowed his brow. “I thought you worked with the cephalopods?”

“I am also part of the education program. Keep up, John.” Lafayette teased, nudging him gently. He pulled himself to his feet, holding a hand out to John and helping him cross back to the other side of the gate, locking it behind them.

A group of children were coming up on the other side of the tank as they did so, Lafayette’s first school group. He greeted them all, bright and chipper, and John watched as they filed in.

His heart jumped into his throat as a familiar face appeared among the group. Dark, curly hair that matched his own, eyes that locked with his in an instant of recognition, and a freckled face that lit up at the sight of him.

“Jack?!” The little boy’s voice was hopeful, and the woman he was standing with was simply confused. 

“Oh, shit.” John muttered, debating on what to do now that Jemmy and Martha were standing just across the room from him. He hadn’t seen his siblings in what felt like years, what may have literally been years. _Shit_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me on tumblr (or instagram now!): @lafbaeyette

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! Comments and Kudos will only further encourage me to continue this, so if you want more, let me know! 
> 
> You can also come talk at me on Tumblr: @hypeulesnochilligan !


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